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℞

Dr. Common Sense, MD

Board Certified in Obvious Solutions
Practicing since the dawn of civilization — still waiting for the first patient

Feeling surrounded by decisions that defy all explanation?
Witnessing outcomes that could have been avoided with approximately two seconds of forethought?

The doctor is in. A prescription is available.

Dr. Common Sense accepts all insurance plans, including disbelief. No co-pay required — just an open mind (if one can be located).

℞ Dr. Common Sense, MD

Board Certified in Obvious Solutions
123 Rational Thought Lane
Logicville, Earth
1-800-THINK-1ST
Patient: The General Public Date:
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1. Think Before You Act — 500mg
Twice daily. Preferably before speaking, sending emails, or making decisions that affect other human beings.
2. Consider The Consequences — 200mg
As needed, with a full glass of perspective. Especially recommended before any action preceded by the words “What’s the worst that could happen?”
3. Read The Instructions — 100mg
Once before attempting anything. Not after. Not during. Before.

Refills: Unlimited — this prescription has, remarkably, never been filled.

Side effects: May cause rational decisions, functional processes, and brief moments of clarity that could be disorienting if experienced for the first time.

Warning: Do not combine with social media. Avoid operating heavy opinions while taking this medication. Keep away from comment sections and unmoderated forums.

Note: If you experience common sense lasting longer than four hours, congratulations — you may be the first. Please contact us, as we’d love to study you.
Dr. C. Sense
License #00000001
First and only one ever issued